When your partner is struggling with their mental health, it can be hard to know how to help them. After all, you’re not a therapist — you’re just someone who cares about them deeply. But even without professional training, there are plenty of ways you can make a meaningful difference. In fact, showing up and being there for your partner can be more powerful than you think.
Here are some tips to help you offer support while navigating the complexities of mental health, without stepping into the role of therapist.
One of the most important things you can do is simply listen. Let your partner express what they’re going through, without interrupting or offering solutions right away. Sometimes, all they need is a safe space to voice their thoughts and feelings. Resist the urge to fix things immediately — often, your partner just wants to be heard.
Be patient and avoid making any judgmental comments. Statements like, “Just think positive,” or “Others have it worse,” can unintentionally invalidate their feelings. Instead, try to reflect what they’re saying: “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now,” or “That must be really tough for you.”
While your support is invaluable, it’s important to acknowledge that mental health professionals have the tools and training to offer the most effective help. If your partner hasn’t already reached out for support, gently encourage them to do so. You can offer to help them find a therapist or accompany them to an appointment if that makes them feel more comfortable.
Remember, though, that it’s crucial to approach this conversation with care. Phrases like “You should see a therapist,” or “You need to talk to someone” can feel demanding. Instead, try framing it as a supportive suggestion: “I really want you to feel better. Would it help if we looked into some options together?”
There may be times when your partner’s mental health challenge becomes a crisis such as thoughts of self-harm or suicide. If you ever feel that your partner is in immediate danger, it’s crucial to seek professional help right away. Call or text 988, reach out to a therapist or get them to the emergency room if needed. Trust your instincts, and remember, you’re not alone in dealing with this.
Supporting a partner with mental health challenges can be emotionally taxing, and it’s easy to burn out, so make sure you’re taking care of your own mental health as well. Set aside time for self-care, talk to your own support network, and if necessary, consider seeking guidance from a professional yourself. It’s much easier to be there for your partner if you also tend to your own wellbeing.
Mental health recovery isn’t linear. Some days will be better than others, and it’s important to be patient through the ups and downs. Your partner may have days when they don’t feel like talking or engaging, and that’s OK. Don’t force it: Respect their boundaries and let them know that you’re there for them when they’re ready to reach out. Simply letting them know that you’re available whenever they’re ready can go a long way.
When someone is struggling with their mental health, it can be hard to maintain healthy habits. Offering gentle encouragement to stick to routines like eating well, exercising and getting enough rest can be helpful. You can suggest doing these things together, but remember, it’s important to be supportive and not pushy. For example, instead of saying, “You need to go for a run,” you could say, “Would you like to take a walk with me today?” Small steps can help your partner feel more in control and supported.
Your love and support can make all the difference. Keep reminding your partner that they’re not alone in their struggles. Express your love regularly, even if they’re not responding the way you hope. Sometimes, simply hearing that someone is there for them unconditionally can be comforting. You don’t have to have all the answers or know exactly what to say — what matters most is showing that you care, without expectations.
It’s important to remember that you’re not your partner’s therapist. Your role is to be a supportive partner, not to “fix” their mental health challenges. Offering empathy, listening and encouraging professional support can make a world of difference in your partner’s recovery journey. Above all, demonstrate love, understanding and compassion — they can be just as powerful as any professional intervention. And even on the tough days, your presence can be a huge source of strength. Keep showing up. Keep being there. You’re doing great.
